After you are born, life seems to be going on.
How is it going on for you?
I hope it is all good and great?
Well on the surface, it always seems like everything is good and great and awesome and fantastic. But deep inside sometimes it feels like shit.
Have you ever felt that way?
I want to confess – I have too. And not one time. But one too many times – growing up and even after having grown up.
And I have come to realise, that it’s okay to really feel that way. The only thing I wish to be different was – I wish someone told me so. That yes, it is okay.
But that’s okay. Because if someone told me, probably I would never be here telling it to you.
Well, yeah. This is how the human brain works – rather it is best for it to work this way. That anytime we see something which did not go our way we say – whatever happens, happens for the best., it happens for a reason, etc.
The only point of caution, in this way of thinking, is to not forget to learn the lesson the incident left behind. Missing out on that would truly be a loss. Everything else is just a means for survival.
Now, back to the point. (Excuse my wandering mind).
It’s okay to fall down…
This. This very statement sounds like such a turmoil – does it not?
It’s Okay – ah. Soothing and Healing.
To Fall Down – ugh. Painful and Breaking.
That’s because not enough people talk about what it really means to fall down.
What you hear is in hindsight. That is why you sometimes fail to connect and have the faith in the ones who have grown out of it.
How someone went from being homeless to working hard and earning money – or how someone was broke, had no money to eat, slogged and bought a bungalow – is not what you need to hear. Or maybe you need to, but it does not give you any comfort. If at all, I am sure it only makes you feel worse.
What you need to hear, is how someone else also had sleepless nights and yet survived. How everything seemed wrong and yet things turned out all right. How not giving up was the only way to rise up. And how all of it worked. You need the small details.
So here is my attempt at talking about the little things which hurt and irk, and why you should not give up. Because – It really is okay to fall down…
The thing is, people and life do not go the way you and I want them to. Well, at least not always.
And sometimes, things go in such a direction that nothing seems to be going fine.
In moments like these – you start to question yourself. You begin thinking what have you even done with your life.
You curse yourself – constantly telling yourself you are good for nothing.
Punishing yourself – for having wasted all that time.
Blaming yourself – if only you had started earlier.
That’s where it starts.
And it keeps going on until the nights seem to turn darker and your future bleaker.
You are anxious throughout the day. You ask yourself, what is this life even worth.
You stop enjoying anything. In fact, you stop enjoying everything you once enjoyed.
And all of this tension builds up – and you begin to work frantically in whichever way you can. Putting your efforts wherever you can. Like shooting in the dark with no sense of direction.
That is when you get tired of trying. You feel like you are running and moving ahead but the reality is yes you are putting in the effort and running but you are stuck in the same place like you are running on a treadmill. (But you sure have become stronger, don’t forget)
After all this effort, you still see no result and want to give up.
Now because you have tried and still got no results you feel worse. Because you tried and still did not make it anywhere close to where you wanted to go.
What do you do now?
You lose even more hope, you start shouting at your loved ones, you hold your head and put it down and give up…
This is exactly where I want to come in and tell you – DON’T.
Because you are not alone and not just you, most of us feel this way.
It is just that your and my reasons for feeling this way may be different – as they say, to each his own.
But what can be different is what you choose to tell yourself when you feel this way. Now in all honesty, in times like these when you tell yourself – let’s go, let’s go – keep going, none of it works. And then that again makes you feel worse.
So here are some things I want to tell you for all the times when you feel this way.
The first thing is, the more you think of the circumstances, the more you will keep getting involved in them. What is important is that you do not get emotional about the situation. That you do not get consumed by the situation. Because the moment you do that – you are falling further down. While it is okay to fall down, try to save yourself from falling further down.
Hence, stop thinking about what can happen, or what you could have done. Get out of your head. Don’t stay stuck in your thoughts.
Now, to come out of your thoughts you can ask yourself, what is it that you really wanted to achieve or what is it that you enjoy doing. Sometimes, the answer will not be clear. To find the answer, scribble, write, think, keep writing, and scratching your head and you will find those answers.
Once you find the answer, just write that down in a notebook, on the notes app of your phone, and every other place you need to write it down in so that you can remind yourself and shift your focus when you have negative thoughts.
You also need to remember that you are not the voice in your head. This means that the voice in your head will try to pull you down and continue with the negative thoughts. But that is just coming from habit.
The voice you need to listen to is about the things you want to think.
And then see the difference.
Just writing down what is clear and reminding yourself in various places and making lists for the same will automatically push you out of whatever misery or grief you have fallen in.
Because no matter what you choose to do – life will keep going on.
So, no matter what happens, it’s okay to fall down, we all do.
But the next time you fall down, I hope my article can not just make you feel better while you read it. But even push you to take the necessary steps you must take to come out of all of it.